Ek Tha Tiger
(2012)
Directed by- Kabir Khan
*Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ranvir Shorey, Girish Karnad, (Doodh)
I know it's late and pointless reviewing this film but well, lets just get this out of the way.
Like most movies I got into this one late (about 5 mins) and probably missed a lame joke concerning cigarettes (as I've heard) and Bhai's entry.
But soon the loss is forgotten and the mood is set when Bhai starts jumping off rooftops and going ninja with clotheslines.
After a fierce bout of seetis and taalis the scene ends with heavy cash flow on the streets and Bhai walking out of the frame in his signature strut.
Now most people miss this but Kabir Khan here is such a badass with symbolism that he strategically placed this scene to subliminally signify his film's predetermined performance at the BO and laugh in the face of his contemporaries.
Also to reassure YRF for making such a pathetic film.
But moving on, Bhai gets back to his sarkari quarter and takes milk from the doodhwala (the doodh having an extended role in the film. And it does show promise, I'll tell you that)
And in no time Bhai is ready for his next assignment. Facial injuries notwithstanding.
Soon Bhai is assigned to observe a prodigal professor of Indian origin and look-see if the guy is secretly supplying information to Paki agents.
Cut to: Dublin
Bhai dons smart sweaters and loiters around park benches and subsequently gains entry into the Prof's house. But why do you even need the professor?
The guy barely comes on screen and in no way helps move the story forward.
The doodh has a bigger role than him.
Bhai is soon distracted by the beautiful caretaker and loses all interest in the professor. And whatever little screen time the guy had is robbed from him.
Then follows a weak love story, sans any good songs, good humor and good reason.
Its just that Kabir Khan managed to rope in both Salman and Katrina together after a long time and solely decided to depend on their confused relationship status to take care of the film. There is just NO love story happening here.
But then comes the twist which must have made Kabir Khan feel so pleased with himself that he doesn't even care that the public could sense it from miles away and hours before.
Yes, Katrina is a spy beyotch!
that too ISI, ooooh..
Bhai is heartbroken or constipated going by his expression, but he gathers his wits and musters his patriotism to shoot his lover in the face, right before interval.
Or so you think, Kabir Khan is 'streets ahead' of you and Katrina is alive! #LikeABoss
Bhai's chivalry having overpowered Bhai's farz, he let a rival spy (probably armed with weapon secrets and his heart) slip away.
But never mind the hiccups, the story continues to move ever so forward without managing to get anywhere.
Cut To: Sarkari quarter, and the doodh gets some more screen time. By now overpowering Girish Karnad by it's blinding performance.
(I can see a star is born)
Bhai is lovelorn and decides to take up a desk job, quitting field work altogether.
Yet fate forces him to cross paths with his love once again and he sets off for a UN conference to meet Zoya Bibi. That's Kat btw.
(Yes, Pakis are very respectful to their ladies, even if they are AWOL secret agents)
After too much waltzing and fooling around Bhai simply takes off with the girl jumping from speedboat to airplane to bus to rooftops again!
Now the only good thing about this film that makes all this spineless ruckus bearable is the action. The parkour-powered chase sequences coupled with some amazing hand-to-hand combat featuring both Bhai and *ahem* Bhabhi, breathe dragon fire in the erstwhile dead film.
The stunts are performed with finesse and executed with flawless precision.
There is a distinctive flow to the action and you can see it, and that pleases you all the more.
But Kabir Khan returns to his signature bullshittery and stabs all good things and decides to end the film with the obligatory lameass car chase followed by a surprising and genuinely funny teamwork between RAW and ISI.
In the end Bhai decides to take the action up a notch by boarding a plane amid take off on his phancy bike.
(Batman take cue)
The film ends with enough room for a sequel and its viewers' faith in Bhai left in tatters.
There is no quirky humor of your regular Salman fare, no cocky dialogue that usually sends the public in an uproar and only a momentous peek at his finely sculpted abs. There's just not enough Salman in there.
Kabir Khan tries too hard to make a believable love story of a spy which comes across as an un-Salmanly experience and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
If only Bhai was allowed to carry off his effortless swag as always, this film could have scored. If only there were better lines and a tighter script, this film could have scored. If only Kabir Khan didn't try to make it an eligible contendor for award season, this film could have scored.
Sadly, it doesn't.
Kabir Khan makes a botched up, witless attempt to portray himself as a mainstream director with sensibilities and substance. But you're casting Salman Khan, you better throw all sense out of the window for good and dive right in.
Rating- 2.5/5
Watch it only for the rush of the action scenes, then kindly leave the theater.
(2012)
Directed by- Kabir Khan
*Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ranvir Shorey, Girish Karnad, (Doodh)
I know it's late and pointless reviewing this film but well, lets just get this out of the way.
Like most movies I got into this one late (about 5 mins) and probably missed a lame joke concerning cigarettes (as I've heard) and Bhai's entry.
But soon the loss is forgotten and the mood is set when Bhai starts jumping off rooftops and going ninja with clotheslines.
After a fierce bout of seetis and taalis the scene ends with heavy cash flow on the streets and Bhai walking out of the frame in his signature strut.
Now most people miss this but Kabir Khan here is such a badass with symbolism that he strategically placed this scene to subliminally signify his film's predetermined performance at the BO and laugh in the face of his contemporaries.
Also to reassure YRF for making such a pathetic film.
But moving on, Bhai gets back to his sarkari quarter and takes milk from the doodhwala (the doodh having an extended role in the film. And it does show promise, I'll tell you that)
And in no time Bhai is ready for his next assignment. Facial injuries notwithstanding.
Soon Bhai is assigned to observe a prodigal professor of Indian origin and look-see if the guy is secretly supplying information to Paki agents.
Cut to: Dublin
Bhai dons smart sweaters and loiters around park benches and subsequently gains entry into the Prof's house. But why do you even need the professor?
The guy barely comes on screen and in no way helps move the story forward.
The doodh has a bigger role than him.
Bhai is soon distracted by the beautiful caretaker and loses all interest in the professor. And whatever little screen time the guy had is robbed from him.
Then follows a weak love story, sans any good songs, good humor and good reason.
Its just that Kabir Khan managed to rope in both Salman and Katrina together after a long time and solely decided to depend on their confused relationship status to take care of the film. There is just NO love story happening here.
But then comes the twist which must have made Kabir Khan feel so pleased with himself that he doesn't even care that the public could sense it from miles away and hours before.
Yes, Katrina is a spy beyotch!
that too ISI, ooooh..
Bhai is heartbroken or constipated going by his expression, but he gathers his wits and musters his patriotism to shoot his lover in the face, right before interval.
Or so you think, Kabir Khan is 'streets ahead' of you and Katrina is alive! #LikeABoss
Bhai's chivalry having overpowered Bhai's farz, he let a rival spy (probably armed with weapon secrets and his heart) slip away.
But never mind the hiccups, the story continues to move ever so forward without managing to get anywhere.
Cut To: Sarkari quarter, and the doodh gets some more screen time. By now overpowering Girish Karnad by it's blinding performance.
(I can see a star is born)
Bhai is lovelorn and decides to take up a desk job, quitting field work altogether.
Yet fate forces him to cross paths with his love once again and he sets off for a UN conference to meet Zoya Bibi. That's Kat btw.
(Yes, Pakis are very respectful to their ladies, even if they are AWOL secret agents)
After too much waltzing and fooling around Bhai simply takes off with the girl jumping from speedboat to airplane to bus to rooftops again!
Now the only good thing about this film that makes all this spineless ruckus bearable is the action. The parkour-powered chase sequences coupled with some amazing hand-to-hand combat featuring both Bhai and *ahem* Bhabhi, breathe dragon fire in the erstwhile dead film.
The stunts are performed with finesse and executed with flawless precision.
There is a distinctive flow to the action and you can see it, and that pleases you all the more.
But Kabir Khan returns to his signature bullshittery and stabs all good things and decides to end the film with the obligatory lameass car chase followed by a surprising and genuinely funny teamwork between RAW and ISI.
In the end Bhai decides to take the action up a notch by boarding a plane amid take off on his phancy bike.
(Batman take cue)
The film ends with enough room for a sequel and its viewers' faith in Bhai left in tatters.
There is no quirky humor of your regular Salman fare, no cocky dialogue that usually sends the public in an uproar and only a momentous peek at his finely sculpted abs. There's just not enough Salman in there.
Kabir Khan tries too hard to make a believable love story of a spy which comes across as an un-Salmanly experience and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
If only Bhai was allowed to carry off his effortless swag as always, this film could have scored. If only there were better lines and a tighter script, this film could have scored. If only Kabir Khan didn't try to make it an eligible contendor for award season, this film could have scored.
Sadly, it doesn't.
Kabir Khan makes a botched up, witless attempt to portray himself as a mainstream director with sensibilities and substance. But you're casting Salman Khan, you better throw all sense out of the window for good and dive right in.
Rating- 2.5/5
Watch it only for the rush of the action scenes, then kindly leave the theater.
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