Bhai Lose SWAG!

Ek Tha Tiger
(2012)


Directed by- Kabir Khan

*Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ranvir Shorey, Girish Karnad, (Doodh)



I know it's late and pointless reviewing this film but well, lets just get this out of the way.
Like most movies I got into this one late (about 5 mins) and probably missed a lame joke concerning cigarettes (as I've heard) and Bhai's entry.
But soon the loss is forgotten and the mood is set when Bhai starts jumping off rooftops and going ninja with clotheslines.
After a fierce bout of seetis and taalis the scene ends with heavy cash flow on the streets and Bhai walking out of the frame in his signature strut.
Now most people miss this but Kabir Khan here is such a badass with symbolism that he strategically placed this scene to subliminally signify his film's predetermined performance at the BO and laugh in the face of his contemporaries.
Also to reassure YRF for making such a pathetic film.

But moving on, Bhai gets back to his sarkari quarter and takes milk from the doodhwala (the doodh having an extended role in the film. And it does show promise, I'll tell you that)
And in no time Bhai is ready for his next assignment. Facial injuries notwithstanding.
Soon Bhai is assigned to observe a prodigal professor of Indian origin and look-see if the guy is secretly supplying information to Paki agents.
Cut to: Dublin
Bhai dons smart sweaters and loiters around park benches and subsequently gains entry into the Prof's house. But why do you even need the professor?
The guy barely comes on screen and in no way helps move the story forward.
The doodh has a bigger role than him.

Bhai is soon distracted by the beautiful caretaker and loses all interest in the professor. And whatever little screen time the guy had is robbed from him.
Then follows a weak love story, sans any good songs, good humor and good reason.
Its just that Kabir Khan managed to rope in both Salman and Katrina together after a long time and solely decided to depend on their confused relationship status to take care of the film. There is just NO love story happening here.
But then comes the twist which must have made Kabir Khan feel so pleased with himself that he doesn't even care that the public could sense it from miles away and hours before.
Yes, Katrina is a spy beyotch!
that too ISI, ooooh..

Bhai is heartbroken or constipated going by his expression, but he gathers his wits and musters his patriotism to shoot his lover in the face, right before interval.
Or so you think, Kabir Khan is 'streets ahead' of you and Katrina is alive! #LikeABoss
Bhai's chivalry having overpowered Bhai's farz, he let a rival spy (probably armed with weapon secrets and his heart) slip away.

But never mind the hiccups, the story continues to move ever so forward without managing to get anywhere.
Cut To: Sarkari quarter, and the doodh gets some more screen time. By now overpowering Girish Karnad by it's blinding performance.
(I can see a star is born)
Bhai is lovelorn and decides to take up a desk job, quitting field work altogether.
Yet fate forces him to cross paths with his love once again and he sets off for a UN conference to meet Zoya Bibi. That's Kat btw.
(Yes, Pakis are very respectful to their ladies, even if they are AWOL secret agents)
After too much waltzing and fooling around Bhai simply takes off with the girl jumping from speedboat to airplane to bus to rooftops again!

Now the only good thing about this film that makes all this spineless ruckus bearable is the action. The parkour-powered chase sequences coupled with some amazing hand-to-hand combat featuring both Bhai and *ahem* Bhabhi, breathe dragon fire in the erstwhile dead film.
The stunts are performed with finesse and executed with flawless precision.
There is a distinctive flow to the action and you can see it, and that pleases you all the more.

But Kabir Khan returns to his signature bullshittery and stabs all good things and decides to end the film with the obligatory lameass car chase followed by a surprising and genuinely funny teamwork between RAW and ISI.
In the end Bhai decides to take the action up a notch by boarding a plane amid take off on his phancy bike.
(Batman take cue)

The film ends with enough room for a sequel and its viewers' faith in Bhai left in tatters.
There is no quirky humor of your regular Salman fare, no cocky dialogue that usually sends the public in an uproar and only a momentous peek at his finely sculpted abs. There's just not enough Salman in there.
Kabir Khan tries too hard to make a believable love story of a spy which comes across as an un-Salmanly experience and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

If only Bhai was allowed to carry off his effortless swag as always, this film could have scored. If only there were better lines and a tighter script, this film could have scored. If only Kabir Khan didn't try to make it an eligible contendor for award season, this film could have scored.
Sadly, it doesn't.

Kabir Khan makes a botched up, witless attempt to portray himself as a mainstream director with sensibilities and substance. But you're casting Salman Khan, you better throw all sense out of the window for good and dive right in.


Rating- 2.5/5
Watch it only for the rush of the action scenes, then kindly leave the theater.

The City, A Murder And Noir

The Naked City (1948)

Directed by- Jules Dassin

*Barry Fitzgerald, Don Taylor, Howard Duff, Dorothy Hart


The Naked City is about New York, starring New York and made in New York.
A wonderful ode to a wonderful city with colorful narration and genius camera work.
With the starting monologue (presented by producer Mark Hellinger) attempting to provide it a documentary style we are introduced to the chief character; New York city.
William H. Daniels' superb cinematography captures the very soul of the great city in a stunning montage that spans from empty theaters to high society gatherings, a cleaning woman about her job to a radio host playing records on air.
As the narrative proceeds we witness a murder, that of a young model by the name of Jean Dexter. Alongside we are introduced to the other principal characters living their lives, oblivious to what that beckons them.

The story in a nutshell is pretty neat. Cops investigating Dexter's murder are hot on the trail of the murderers. But the clever web of shadows that falls over the rather simple mystery maintains the secrecy like a charm. And as new sides of the dice are revealed the viewer relishes in delight of the taut thrills that the film packs, including a very elaborate and sizzling climactic chase.

The film is also special in showcasing the minute details of a real police procedure. From dusting the room for prints to combing every inch of it for clues. and even the false leads that tend to misdirect the investigations and not to mention provide some unintentional humor.
It is the realistic depiction of the functioning of the police body that gives the film the haunting feel of realism.

The characters played out by the wonderful cast are rooted into reality and we feel the false pride of Frank Niles just as the youthful excitement of Detective Halloran.
But it is the wise old man of Barry Fitzgerald, Det. Lt. Dan Muldoon who overshadows the rest of the cast by his experience and wit.
From mumbling happy songs to mimicking crazy, old ladies, Fitzgerald is all there and his acting is first rate. Funny, calculating and warm.
Though there is one more character, as sharp as the old timer and even more cunning.
It's the brilliant narration by Hellinger that drives the film forward with a powerful force. There are scenes where the narrative might lag, such as while looking for witnesses all across the city, but it is the satirical dialogue of the narrator that provides these scenes with a comical edge.

Dassin's direction which takes control from the word go and never slips in the slightest for the rest of the film is commendable. The pacing of the scenes, the heels, the timing, all of it is nothing short of perfect.
Dassin handles his characters on a leash and they follow every command dutifully.

But what really makes this film so lovable, so rare is the awe-inspiring cinematography.
From the NY skyscrapers to the streets, the children's parks to the offices all of it is immortalised onscreen forever as one of the finest examples. And why not, as the film has been shot entirely on location.
Not a single shot was taken in a studio as the film is completely based in New York, a fact complimenting its own unique documentary style.

In the end, The Naked City is a wonderful achievement.
A splendid commentary on the millions of oblivious lives and their ironies that fill the city and make it complete. Make it real.
One of the brightest of films noir, complete with fleshy characters and a thrilling storyline and its own distinctive style.

Rating- 4.4/5

Miss* Miss* Bang! Bang!

Gangs of Wasseypur II
(2012)


Directed by- Anurag Kashyap

*Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Huma Qureshi, Richa Chadda, Zeishan Quadri, Tigmanshu Dhulia, Piyush Mishra, Rajkumar Yadav, Pankaj Tripathi, Reemma Sen


[SPOILERS!]


Anurag Kashyap's follow-up to the mindblasting Part I begins right after Sardar Khan's assassination. And from that point on its evident things will never be the same in Wasseypur.


THE PLAYERS:

First of all, Kashyap introduces many new characters that form an integral part of the story and yet you somehow feel that they could have been easily avoided. The reason being that they fail to reach out to you during the minimal screen time they get.
Unlike last time where even a short role by Vipin Sharma (as Ehsaan Qureshi) left a mark due to his superb acting in that, "Ab toh sach bol de bhosdi ke!' scene. (remember him nodding like a buffoon?)

GOWII has various colorful characters, some with their own signature handicaps and even exotic names, which somehow seem to be placed deliberately in the mix, only for the sake of adding more variety, which was quite unnecessary in the first place. The prequel had a perfect blend of earthy, believable characters that were deeply embedded in the story.
Many characters here have not much to do except act as devices to spawn new plot lines that ultimately reach the end. And in hindsight you like to believe that you could have done without that particular plot line or even the character.
For instance, Shamshad Alam whom I found an utter waste of screen time and a totally useless character in the story. However he did have lengthy role and played some part in the downfall of the empire and the corruption of Definite.

The major characters however are dealt with a maturity that reminds of the preceding film. firstly, Mohsina (Huma Qureshi) who graduates from a filmy girl next door-cum-love interest to Faizal into a pillar of support who serves as the only solace for the troubled Faizal.
Also Naghma Khatoon, Faizal's fiery mother, one of the strongest characters from the previous film is somehow tamed and tended to the shadows in this one, but that only compliments her old age. Her initial scenes only showing a bit of the flair that she sported in Part I.
The rest of the primary characters like Sultan, JP continue to strive in the backgrounds while still getting their own moments to shine.
But Piyush Mishra's Chacha Farhan gets truly sidelined and barely has a dialogue to speak.
The aged Ramadhir Singh also suffers a similar fate as his fellow characters from Part I. Subsided to only a few scenes and a bloody climax, he doesn't get much time to share his old man's wisdom.
Except for that amazing 'garden ki chaai' scene where he delivers one of the best punches from the film.
"Jab dak is desh mein cinema rahega log chutiya bante rahenge"

And then there are the two primary characters, firstly its Faizal the protagonist, burdened with the responsibility of exacting revenge for his family.
His character who was a worthless pot-junkie in the previous film grows into a menacing crime lord with an insatiable bloodlust. The decay of Faizal's character is shown splendidly by Kashyap.
The final scene where Faizal rains death upon his sworn enemy with those emotionless eyes and that childlike fixation on his pallid face, combined with the killer beats of Sneha Khanwalkar's badass KKL track (to which I'm listening as I write this review), itself makes the rest of the film worthwhile. His journey complete and his actions redeemed.
Now on the other side of the coin is the cagey and wily Definite, the new breed of Mafia springing up from this soil watered by the blood of generations.
Definite is a character whose real intentions are never revealed throughout the film. That is until the final scene.
He helps Faizal, plots against him, saves his life and teams up against him again until the viewer is left utterly clueless as to what this enigmatic young character is all about. And in the end he delivers his final blow.
His is the only character journey after Faizal that is justified by Kashyap.


THE STORY:

Credited to Zeishan Quadri (also playing Definite), Akhilesh, Sachin Ladia and Anurag Kashyap, the story is rather straightforward and without much twists and turns. A lot does happen along the narrative yet all of it instead of boiling down to the finale is scattered here and there and most of it seems pretty pointless in the first place.
A lot of sub plots are created and then left hanging.
Like the election angle which was so profusely advertised. We never see the end of it and in fact Faizal yearns to quit the election almost immediately.
His sorrow though understandable is somehow misplaced and badly timed. Yet its the wonderful acting by Nawaz that pulls it through.

There are a few other things which bug you about the story in hindsight.
GOW I had a fantastic storyline and superb narration by Piyush Mishra. It was a tale spanning decades and states and told the bloody history of Wasseypur through the eyes of its own people, how they came to and what spawned the bloody rivalries that haunt the town to this day.
This time around however the narration seems lacking. There aren't much historical developments and the story seems to spin out of control despite desperate attempts at fusing the narration at certain points.

The overall story, if you look at it by combining the two parts seems to have a lag after Sardar Khan's death. Danish's attempts at vengeance though seem to pick up the tempo, but he is shortly and abruptly killed and the film descends in a narrative limbo from which it actually rises only in the climax.

This half of the story of Gangs of Wasseypur is certainly weaker and fails to bind the viewer like the predecessor. Even though this does have a grander scale, better guns and faster rides.
But maybe it was the uncertainty of a homemade bomb that provided the previous film with that grit, the sharp point of an icepick that gave it that edgy nature which made it such an enjoyable fare which despite being two and a half hours long still has a high rewatch value.
Something one can't promise about this part.


THE MUSIC:

Sneha Khanwalkar's music is one of the plus points this film has over its prequel.
The rustic tunes of Moora, the subtle music of Kaala Rey, the power-packed Chhi Chha Ledar, the flashy Electric Piya and the festive Taar Bijli all are songs that one not only remembers fondly but also that form an integral part of the narrative.
But the one track with its mindnumbing music and its awesome placement in the film that will remain etched in your memory forever is KKL.
A remix of the phenomenal Keh Ke Lunga track from the previous album, this is definitely my favorite. And Kashyap uses the song to its full extent as Faizal unloads magazine after magazine and rifle after rifle into the destroyed remains of Ramadhir Singh with such sadistic pleasure and such innocent satisfaction that makes this scene the apex of action cinema in India.
Other tracks that stand out are Moora, Chhi Chha Ledar, and Kaala Rey.

GV Prakash Kumar's Godfatherly background score gives the film the required gangster feel, adding intensity to some key scenes.


THE REST:

Rajeev Ravi's Cinematography is visually pleasing.
He captures the landscapes as well as the urban setting beautifully. There are ample chase scenes some of which are shot exceptionally. For instance Perpendicular's entry, shot in slow motion and narrated by Piyush Mishra paves the way for an interesting character.
Though that character meets a most undeserved and quick end is a different thing.

Kashyap's direction is good.
Though his grip slackens at times and the film tends to lag, especially after the interval. The film never actually picks up until the final chain of events are in order.
Probably its because Kashyap has crammed way too many characters to give it a City of God-like feel, but unlike his inspiration he fails to do justice to each and every one of them.


THE CONCLUSION:

So finally whereas GOW II fails to stand up to the standards set up by its predecessor it is still a pretty enjoyable fare.
Mostly for the characterization of Definite and the stupendous acting by Nawazuddin.
And mainly, the climax scene. And the music that roars in its background.
That is the reason I would be willing to watch this film again in theaters.
That scene actually signifies the power of cinema. The mindblowing effect it has on you and how it leaves you in stupor, I would pay again and again just to watch THAT scene play forever in a theater.


RATING- 3.5/5
A film I had immense expectations from, which despite being somehow disappointing was still very enjoyable.
Nawazuddin/Zeishan Quadri FTW!

Welcome World...

As I welcome myself to this new platform of cyber-expression there is a slight apprehension that hangs in this vacuum of the web. The virgin sheets of this blog herald a new medium to share my excitement for movies with countless counterparts and to reach out to those who appreciate and understand film.

Having written extensive reviews for the better part of my newly developed geekhood, sharing them with my online friends was an involuntary action. But there always remained the need to have a place where all these thoughts, ideas and inspirations could be gathered in a vault of memories and be accessed for ready reference.
Though a blog was always on my mind, getting down to creating it and accepting the responsibility to keep it running always seemed to bother my lazy self.
A lot of my friends had frequently suggested this and in fact I had created this blog long back itself, but actually getting it in shape and customizing the perfect look from a plethora of templates was always the most tedious of tasks.
But when the reviews rendered unmanageable on status updates and as comments on communities, it was evident the needful had to be done.

But that was not the only reason I came here.
Having your own blog gives you that misjudged sense of satisfaction, the feeling of being someone who is published, read and actually looked forward to. When the reality is you advertise your blog vehemently, virtually begging the world to read it like a door-to-door salesman. And the tired, disgusted people frown upon your work like a scrutinizing examiner and cast it as another vague opinion among millions.

And so who was I to refrain from the alluring aspect of being a revered author?
To hell with ridicule and nonacceptance. I am a writer, bitch. Read me because my opinion counts, my words despite being published on a free medium from which I also hope to earn some money on the side, are the words of wisdom. Free and yet wise.

So, as I conclude my maiden article I hope to have conveyed my message. That I make absolutely no sense and I am here solely because having a blog makes you a man of respected sensibilities.
But then there's one last thing to consider,
I Love Cinema!
Yes, more than writing my own blog and becoming a famous author, more than earning buttloads of money and more than accumulating respect, it is the love of cinema that drives me to create this blog and to reach out to all you fantastic cinephiles who share the same passion.
It is the magic of this wonderful art form that binds us cinema lovers across this expansive medium of the internet and makes us one massive, varying community that breathes the same air and lives the same life.

Here's to cinema and good times to come.
Cheers,
The Cineman.